Best Weekend Ever

Sooo lucky I caught a ride home this weekend! I had such a great time! I got to see SO many of my friends and so much family. And to think I didn't want to go home at first! So much to write about. After class:)

Frustrated

I feel horrible. I don't know what to do. I never thought I'd cry because I want to go home, but I just did. People should tell you how hard life is sometimes. I thought I'd gone through enought already, but now it seems like nothing could get worse. Yeah I've made a bunch of friends here and stuff, but they're not true friends. I miss my real, best, best friends and family. I want to go home. It's too stressful here. I have an essay due tomorrow and I can't even start it. I'm sick to my stomach and have a constant headache. There's no one to talk to and no where to go. All I do is sit here in my corner or lay in my bed. I have a fever and it won't go away.
I feel bad for doing all this complaining, because I know there are a lot worse things in life that could happen. Right now though, I just feel so alone...I want to go home.

Good Times

Just got back from home.
Even though I got horribly sick, I had a great time! From the football game, to hanging out with friends and family, I loved it all. Especially, today..oh maaan you gotta love my mom:) Have so much to say but am too sick to type, so instead I will convey my feelings in a picture.

"I'm holding you closer than most, cause you are my heaven"

Feelings show.

Sometimes I feel like I wanna break out
I don't belong here, I tell myself
I wanna go where the red fern grows
and the air is cool
My family is all around and it's all I can do
To not stop smiling.
Laughter fills the air
and
Love is everywhere.
I've gotten finally, what I've wanted
I've wished for it all these years
and now,
it's here! Mom, dad, brothers and sisters
We are all together, boy how I've missed it
If only we could have been like this all along
I swear I could've sung the sweetest song

If only my dream were true...


Well, there you go. Sometimes I like to write poetry. Good or bad...I still do it. It's a good way to vent sometimes. Today was a great, but busy busy day. I did so many things today I can't even count them all, and out off all those things, only one thing sucked, so that's great! The thing that sucked was Club Volleyball and I really feel the need to explain my feelings about it. The sign up said-for those looking for highly competitive volleyball blah blah blah, etc. I can't STAND people sometimes. Everyone either a)didn't try
b)had a bad attitude or c)plain sucked. It's like..."Come on people! Why are you even here?" Anyway, I don't want to dwell on that, I just HAD to get it out. I don't think it was the right thing for me anyway, plus I don't want to spend a ton of money to play with people who aren't even competitive so thats that!
Other than that I had a great day! Learned a ton in African American studies, it's so interesting, I'm learning things that I had absolutely no idea about! The Mentor Kick Off was great! Plus there was bomb bomb bomb food and I was starving, so yeah...good times. Then the Zeta Phi Beta Welcome Event, which was a blast! Just wish I could've stayed longer, but of course had to go to Volleyball:( Next time, next time for sure. One exciting thing of the day was when my friend Amanda and me were walking home from the IMA. She's always worried about stuff and I never am, I think there's something wrong with me haha. She's always talkin about callin the night ride and such...haha and I'm like "No way, whatta we need that for?" So today we're walking up to these steps we gotta go up and there's like six guys, all sitting there, all Mexican, all wearing wife beaters, all looking like they wanna kill us. She freaks out of course, and I'm just like, "Dude, calm down, we're fine we're fine we're fine". It's funny cause she was scared to death and it didn't bother me one bit. Is that wierd? Do I have something wrong with me? She made it out to be a huge deal and I didn't care at all, I just said, "turn the corner instead of takin the stairs"...Anyway, we're fine, or else I wouldn't be bloggin it up now. Maybe my lesson for today is-No matter how strong or brave you feel, (at least in our situation tonight) You're not really, so take the safe side of things. I guess living in a city like Seattle I'll have to.
Nighty night world:)

Crazy Days

I should be doing homework, but I felt like writing in my blog for a while. I have been SO busy lately that I don't have time for anything. It's exhausting! I'm stressed for tomorrow too because I have to get up early to work out, class from 12:30-4:20, lunch with my mentor after class, a Kick Off Party at 6, Zeta Phi Beta Event at 7 and Volleyball at 8 until 10:30, plus homework. How will I do it all? I don't know, but somehow I will!
Moving to Seattle and going to UW has been a huge transition for me, but little by little, I'm finding the little gold nuggets in everything you know? I'm making new friends, and some I can tell are gonna be life long for sure; I'm learning a ton, especially about my own heritage, which until yesterday....I didn't know the first thing about. I'm now pretty independent, there's no more pulling on my momma's skirt to come with me here and do this, and buy me this. And the best thing of all is all the diversity around here! I've never seen more different people in my life! Growing up in Selah, all there was....well you probably already know. And there's nothing wrong with that, I'm just happy to finally be getting cultivated.
Tonight I went to my first Sisterhood meeting and my first BSU meeting and I loved them both! It feels great to know that I have a place I can go and be a part of something and have an extra family that I can talk to and have fun with. So far, the UW is a great place, my only wish is that I could fall asleep before 1 am:)
Lately I've been very excited because I'm supposed to be going home this Friday. Bus, train, car or plane, I'm comin and nothing's gonna stop me. I can't wait to visit with all my family and friends, I know for sure that it'll be a blast.

In the past couple days, I've learned a few things-You can't dwell on things that happened in the past; When you stand up for what you believe in, you feel good; Be open to everyone's ideas; You are too blessed to be stressed and most of all, Live! Life is so full of great things and sometimes I think we all forget how lucky we are. Lucky to have a house, lucky to go to school, even lucky just to have family or friends. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our lives that we don't even realize everything that we have and all that we can gain. Shoot for the stars, do something that scares you, use your heart~you never know what'll happen.



Ahhhh man, I miss him:(

A drop in the ocean,
A change in the weather,
I was praying that you and me might end up together.
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,
But I'm holding you closer than most,
'Cause you are my heaven.

Beautiful Beginning

Wow.
So much has happened in the last two weeks.....
I've moved from Selah-my home for the last 15 years, to Seattle, a place I've only been on vacation! It is so different here. Classes are filled with 200 people instead of 30. I went from knowing everyone to knowing no one. My new favorite place is my bed, and I've never had to do as much laundry as now. I miss all my friends so much:( But on the bright side, I am making new ones. Sadly it takes me about four hours to fall asleep here, but a highlight is, I've never had such vivid dreams! School is intense, already so much homework, but I'm glad to be learning, so it doesn't phase me too much.
Last night was my first night out with the girls and boy, was it fun! Obviously I can get a little crazy at times...check the picture-but I've never danced so much in my life!!! And with some hotties too!
I'm glad to be out and about all the time, but I hope and pray that I can make it home this coming Friday....
I'm dying to see my family and some of my best friends Lauren, Chuckie and Tre. If my mom doesn't pick me up-I will hitchhike, so there! See ya Friday Selah :)